2009-01-30 - 6:09 p.m.

私は元気じゃありませんね。水曜日から、いつも寝たいです。

日本語二のクラスはちょとおもしろくなかったですよ。あとでいろいろなformを勉強しますから、きっととても大変です。でも、がんばっています！

しんせきはわたしたちのうちへ休みに来ました。まだ時間がありませんから、話しません。

I somehow think that I get less connected in mind. I space out easily and cannot remember information that was just given to me 3seconds ago. And I seriously need daily sleep of more than 8hours. If not I'd get so tired that I don't know how to get anything done properly, not even talking to others, and I get irritated so easily now. I devalued myself until I want to quit school and maybe just go somewhere far away sell duck eggs.

I was quite shocked to see one of the causes for mental retardation is meningitis. I hope I am not for it.

So, I satisfied my need of hunger just now. I have finished what I want to do. And now, I am going to satisfy another need of mine while going back home.

Good night. おやすみなさい。

Does crying help?

11.05pm
我很累，很困，可是总觉得自己还有什么没有做，所以不应该睡。可是要说有什么还没做那可多着呢。可是我真的很困。我要睡了。我又没有二姐的失眠症。嗯。可是怪怪的。头发还没干。我不想上班了。我什么都不要做了。很累很困。我又要哭了。

可以不要每次都说那些话吗？我已经受不了了。每听一次就会生气一次。每听一次就想死一次。每个人都没有烦恼，只有你有就对了。死啦死啦，全部死光光啦。他奶奶的！超干！

我该怎么办？我觉得很辛苦。我看我要找一找anger management course才行了。...只怕，我这种人参加了这种课程也不见得会有效。我为什么会变成这样？

也许，明天会更好。

past - present